Influence is a key skill for managers as well as staff, but why is it some people have influence while others do not?  If you struggle with your influencing try using the following tips to improve your skills.

  • Be one of the first to offer ideas in meetings. Don’t back down quickly when challenged.Instead restate your position clearly to ensure that others understand your perspective.
  • Informally talk with your peers and manager about their goals and concerns. Use this information when you need to link your ideas to their needs.
  • Remember influence is not just “what you say” and ”how you say it”, it’s also about working relationships. If you are struggling to influence someone, reflect on how close your working relationship is. What can you do to improve it?
  • Use appropriate nonverbal communication to deliver an effective, assertive message (for example, steady eye contact, serious expression, firm voice, moderate rate of speech). Avoid aggressive gestures and a rigid posture.
  • Video yourself in a role play situation. Watch the video tape. How congruent is what you say with your body language? Do you give inconsistent messages?
  • If you sometimes struggle to find the right words because you aren’t sure how to phrase a difficult message, use the following techniques to help you frame a strong, direct message:
    • State your observations first. Observations are facts, things that can be seen, heard, or taken in through your senses. Observations differ from opinions in that opinions are your perspectives or beliefs.For example, “You were 15 minutes late for our meeting” is a fact. “You were inconsiderate in coming late” is an opinion. Facts are objective, cannot be argued, and help the other person understand what you are saying.
    • After you state your observations, state your thoughts and feelings about the situation. Preface these statements with “I” to indicate that they are your thoughts and your feelings. For example, “I was frustrated when you were late because it resulted in 15 minutes of unproductive time for the group members”.
    • Finally, state what you want the other person to do. Make statements about your needs rather than solutions. Stating needs opens the door to generating many alternative solutions, while stating solutions can close the door. For example “I would like you to be on time for meetings” is a statement of needs.A solution is “I will call you five minutes before meetings start to make sure you will come on time”. The first statement naturally leads to discussion of the options for how to meet the need, while the second statement closes off discussion of other options and places the responsibility for the problem on you.
  • Observe people in your organisation who are highly influential, and try out the techniques that seem to work for them.
  • Challenge yourself – when were you last influenced by someone? You are more likely to be supported if you have supported others first.
  • Think about the impact you have. When you meet others, stand up quickly and introduce yourself.
  • When trying to influence, ask yourself:
    • What is it I specifically need commitment and support to do?
    • How will it benefit the organisation?
    • What is absolutely necessary, and what would I be willing to give up?
    • Who is involved?
    • What’s important to them?
    • What will they gain from it?
    • What are they likely to be influenced by?
    • How close is my relationship with them?
    • How will I get my message across?

Hopefully these tips will help you to improve your influencing skills.  However, it is important to remember that a key aspect of being influential is being confident.  In other words, the more you try out the different techniques the more confident you will become in your abilities.